Tag Archives: porn

#YesAllWomen and Porn Mentality (NSFW)

(Warning: Shit might get gross up in here.)

As a purveyor of social media, I occasionally (okay, USUALLY) come across material that makes me question humanity. One late-night tryst sounded my awful alarm: a dickbag with the Twitter handle @CauseWereGuys (username “Because I’m a Guy,” because you have to double-down on the bro stupidity) posted “When people ask me why I don’t want to have a daughter” with a graphic image of a woman with male ejaculate on her face. Cut to facepalm.

Naturally, this chauvinist thought it was fine to state this (and the visual) for their 1.62 million followers. But the mindset and attitude behind this–and the people that buy into it–are more problematic. I’m assuming that the woman with male DNA on her mug was a participant of sex (willing or otherwise), and her partner knew that she was someone’s daughter or mother. But you can’t focus on that, bro! Gotta get that nut off!

So, OF COURSE my mind went into overdrive with questions. Why is it okay to have sex with a woman, but to not see said woman as someone’s offspring? Why is the image of a woman as a sexual being such a double-sided depiction? And how does this fuel the insane notion of “daddy’s girl” being protected by the shotgun-toting father figure? Lots of questions, lots of supposed answers!

stupid-t-shirt

“CHRIST…”

When the #YesAllWomen hashtag caught on after the troubling mass shooting rampage carried out by 22-year old Elliot Rodger against the “beautiful girls” that never gave him the time of day, many female social media users felt empowered to share their horrific experiences with men–from protecting themselves against potential date rape, to the aftermath of violence. Rodger, a self-professed men’s rights activist, saw women as possessions; the sexually attractive female was his by birthright. He wasn’t alone in that notion, as critics of these female bullies, anti-social justice warriors, and contradictory dicks stuck up for the deceased gunman and/or mocked the hashtag and the women speaking up about their thoughts and beliefs.

Women LITERALLY couldn’t have a day to talk about serious issues facing their gender, what with male assholes having to challenge that. The realization that women faced hostility and violence because of the lopsided viewpoint of gender equality made these He-Men uncomfortable with the fact that: sex has unfortunate consequences; that women are still treated miserably in an ever-prospering world; that men were the majority of the antagonists in the #YesAllWomen posts; and that the fantasies of the chaste woman and sexual harlot were muddied by the harsh realities of terrible actions. And because of that, these keyboard misogynists lashed out, shaming the posters (women and men) that used the hashtag in efforts to silence them and return to the status quo of sexist jokes and “DEM BOOBS DOE.”

Why jerkoffs felt it was not only fine but their right to belittle the true stories of women speaks to the puritan culture that seeps through society as a whole. The idea of a woman being chaste is nothing new; it’s as old as one of the oldest professions, the prostitute. I’m guessing that the old-timey Madonna-Whore complex, the categorization of women as either sexually attractive or merely admirable, is a catalyst of such beliefs that permeate many aspects of our society. The desire to protect a woman’s virtue from sexual acts and consequences can be seen in political legislation (DAMN THOSE WOMEN THAT HAD SEX!), slut-shaming, and fearful men that have to deal with their daughter’s boyfriends.

That latter point in particular is interesting, as the frightful prospect of their little girl being intimate with a younger version of father, the same father that once (or still) has those physical urges to mate with the sexually attractive female, makes them realize two things: “OH SHIT, HE WANTS 2 TAP DAT”; and “I NEED TO CONTROL MY DAUGHTER’S VAGINA.” Never mind that people are going to have sex despite the wishes of their parents, and never mind that those same naysayers once had sex with girls within their age bracket.

How telling is it that the father would most likely NOT freak out if the situation was reversed and girl showed up at his door wanting to take his son out? Here’s the basic, unspoken pep talk between father (Dr. Dre) and son (Snoop Doggy Dogg) as dictated by our culture:

“Wear that pussy out, son.”

Meanwhile, the father in question would probably not be as liberal if his daughter was to be squired about town by a similarly-aged lad:

“That’s MY pussy, junior.”

Sexuality is a tricky subject, and it is an unhealthy organism if popular culture can be believed. We

  • Tease young adults that wait to have sex shame young women if they’ve had sex
  • Culturally high-five guys for how MANY women they bed
  • Peer pressure young women into dressing as sexual objects to fend off horny guys
  • Degrade a women for the physical aspects of her body
  • Shame the women of a negative sexual encounter, let alone ANY sexual encounter (walk of shame, anyone?)
  • MAYBE prosecute male rapists
  • Shrug when men have multiple children with numerous partners and
  • Shame a women with a child out of wedlock (though it’s supposedly not nearly the cultural calamity it once was) and destroy her if she has more than one child with more than one partner.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a few. But aren’t these the same things that would be a turn-off of those that equate the virtues espoused in porn to be reality? Don’t guys want to see legal (and sometimes younger) young ladies doing all sorts of sexual shit? Aren’t there millions of bros young and old that look up to male pornstars? Idiots that mock a woman for not “having curves” that are either surgically enhanced or uncharacteristic of most women? Look down upon the same women they lust after? And let us not forget the lady that is Octomom.

The scales are tipped against women, and the last thing anyone should do is to deride their experiences. And we as a society need to make things safer and easier for everyone to not only share their accounts, but to limit the negative encounters. Maybe instead of joking about protecting your daughter with a shotgun, you can educate your daughter AND son to be responsible when it comes to sexual encounters as well as to respect their partner’s wishes. Maybe instead of hootin’ and hollerin’ when dude-bros brag about their latest conquests, shame that frat-douche for treating women like sex dolls. And maybe, JUST maybe, we can not give women guilt trips about their roles in sexual relationships.

More dialogues about the realities can lead to enlightened people (though some people just can’t learn a damn thing), despite the glacial pace it would take to undo centuries of patriarchal thinking. I’d like to believe we can get to a point where having a daughter is not met with fear but with the same sense of pride that culture reserves for its sons. Whenever I have kids, I know I’ll share that honor–even if others tell him or her otherwise.

Dear Undecided Voters

Hey there! (No, your computer is not writing you a letter. It’s me, the writer of this blog!)

(Sorry. A blog, or a weblog, is a website where people can post their thoughts in a journal-like format. Someone compared it to graffiti on the internet. They’re probably right, but that’s not the point.)

The presidential election is coming up. You’ve probably heard lots of pros and cons about candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. You’re probably confused about who to vote for; after all, the person that wins will be overseeing the country for the next four years. It’s a tough decision; I get that.

These two men are not preachers; they’re running for president!

The good thing in your favor is that there is lots of information available for you to make an informed decision. In fact, you can use the very same internet that you’re using to browse this blog in order to study up on the candidates. Certain websites traffic solely in worldwide news and political data! Ask your smart friends and co-workers about these. And whatever you do, DON’T get distracted by porn sites. It it too easy to let your eye wander to the naked ladies or dudes, but FOCUS! Porn can wait!

However, you will come across websites that disguise themselves as informative but are really ignorant, racist, sexist and outright horrible in nature. (You can get tipped off by shoddy website design and/or 1850s rhetoric.) Don’t let their persuasive arguments, often poorly misspelled and worded, convince you to their side. YOUR VOTE, YOUR DECISION!

No! NO! Stay on target!

Now people may dissuade you from voting for several reasons: the Electoral College making individual ballots worthless; the candidates flat-out suck; you’re a felon. The list is endless! But STILL. You can feel like you’re making a difference, making a choice for how the country will change or be taken back or whatever shit you hear. You can pull your cart behind whatever horse smells the best!

So let’s skip ahead: you’ve done your research and you’ve hopefully picked your candidate. Now you need to get to your voting place! If you registered to vote, congrats! You should have received something in the mail with the address to get your vote on. If you forgot to register, DAMMIT, YOU! You can’t vote!

But I hope you’ve registered. And I hope that you make a choice as to who will be the leader of the free, often baffling world. But whatever you do, please, Please, PLEASE understand why you’re voting. And don’t lapse on this next time. Get your shit together and get in the game earlier! PORN CAN WAIT!

Yours,

Genial Black Man

The Book of Statham: The Essence of Statham

Movie star, ex-footballer and sexual conquistador Jason Statham transcends mere categorization. His tough-as-nails persona is a front for his even tougher-as-more-nails inner psyche, crushing the emotional states of the world’s most intelligent minds with a mere thought of them being “tossers.” His machismo is enough to turn America’s red states gay; his sexual charisma whips through vaginae like tornadoes through trailer parks.

Jason Statham, emerging from the "Sea of Fucking"

In other words, Statham is the pinnacle of Stahamnosity.

Thanks to the combined efforts of archaeologists and relics of Variety magazine, we have pieced together accounts of That Which is Statham — translated from stick figures engaging in strongly suggestive content by Stathanmian sociologist “Arran,” himself bold in the boudoir and jet ski arts.

Excerpts from Book XVI:

New York Times Arts Critic Ben Brantly once said of Statham: “That guy makes Charlie Sheen look like the cast of Will and Grace.” Leaving out the fact that Brantly’s comment was in a review of the 2011 theater performance of Macbeth,  Statham’s legendary masculinity was the stuff of love nectar legend.

Statham has had sex with many men, but it was not gay because he was Statham. The world is infinitely pliable to his whims. If he says it ain’t gay, it ain’t gay. When Statham said that being gay wasn’t gay, his words reinterpreted history: the Bible no longer says that a man could not lay with another man, but that man could lay with Statham; history books touted Nazi Germany as the “Sausage Nigels” party; “the gay condition” was known as “Statham Fever”; and actor Tom Cruise rented out his house for Craigslist sex parties.

Statham didn’t really like being subject to regular human labels, but if pushed (something you don’t want to do, of course), he acquiesced to the following:

Gender: Statham
Sexuality: Stahosexual
Religion: Statheism

The one reported case of someone mocking Statham was a teenage internet user that ironically claimed to be a Statosexual. Statham, sensing someone using his name in vain, reached through the user’s smartphone [an ancient form of wireless communication -- Ed.], grabbed him by the neck, punched his penis off (through the kid’s pants) and said “Next time, I’ll deflate all your balls, friend.”

The incident resulted in a change to the Obama Administration’s much-vaunted net neturality rules – ISPs do not have the legal right to filter content through their service, however the Statham Amendment to the bill allows providers to voluntarily block access to anything Statham related in order to protect customers’ safety. Apple was ahead of the curve – Steve Jobs personally blocked the Statham App from the iTunes App Store in order to avoid complaints of iOS devices overloading due to sheer machisimo, while the iOS autocorrect facility automatically changes “Statham” to “state of ham” to avoid the possibility of arousing Statham’s ire.

Excerpts from Book XVIII:

The Statham Amendment would become its own amendment in the Constitution in 2014 after a Senate meeting incident to vote on the changes to the Net Neutrality bill. On the Senate floor, after John Boehner rolled his eyes when reading the motion of the bill to pass, Statham crashed his Land Rover — otherwise known as his “Fuck Truck” — into the U.S. Capitol building, hurtled himself through the windshield at full screen and tackled Boehner, beating him with his gavel until the orange skin tone was removed from his face.

A real-life event filmed for Crank 2.

The Statham Amendment incident was the start of Statham’s involvement in bureaucratic service. Statham immediately removed the Senate and Congress from Washington, leaving the Legislative Branch in the hands of Statham. The Supreme Court, fearing hostile takeover, vacated their spots. President Obama promised to relegate himself to Vice President. (Joe Biden was kept on as Statham’s White House jester.)

The national tragedy was immediately challenged by Statham as a “National Correction.” Fearing similar government incidents, foreign countries enacted similar measures of Statham-blocked internet information to prevent his wrath.

Despite the measures being purely for the safety of the citizenry of the world and not a slight against Statham himself, Statham worked from within the system to remove all restrictions on the world gettings its dose of unchecked, uncensored, grade-A fuckworthy Statham. He had only appeared to support the amendment from the outside because he was bored and felt like a challenge in getting it repealed (“challenge” being a relative term when it comes to Statham; being something which takes him using just 1% of his immense brainpower).
He worked to both undermine and publicly support the Amendment through means of democracy and the power of the vote and…

Just fucking with you; he totally boned Nancy Pelosi.

Excerpts from Book XIX:

The magnificent bonetude of Pelosi gave Statham an immediate dosage of political savvy and knowledge — partially from absorbing Pelosi’s chi and literally blowing her back out. (Pelosi’s spinal fluid worked as a stem cell-like supplement that also gave Statham Pelosi’s past memories and feminine attitudes, which he mentally eradicated from his brain with the thought “I’ll give you five seconds to remove your pussy thoughts.”)

Statham, emerging from the "Fuckorghini"

With decades of political knowledge, Statham managed to uproot all America knew of democracy, running afoul of political friends and foes alike. Political pundits fell into step, praising his name in reverent tones like Gregorian chants.

FOX News [a former broadcast television network for Conservative political propaganda, hosted by retired strippers -- Ed.] was the first, with the cable news leader changing their name to “FOX Statham” and the slogan to “Statham and Balanced.” Glenn Beck, fearing not getting a ratings boost by not having him on his show, offered himself up as a Stahosexual conquest. Statham took that as a challenge, strapping Beck to the hood of his Fuck Truck and driving it around Australian prisons while having a seven-way with the female anchors.

Excerpts from Book XXIX:

After conquering FOX News, Statham took over every single cable news and television network in similar fashion. Americans could not turn the channel without seeing Statham riding his jet ski in Fuck City, yelling and pointing at the sky, or having graphic sex with the WNBA league while shouting “You know you won’t understand it, but it’ll be good practice for me!” CNN became known as Statham News Network. MSNBC changed the meaning of its initials to be “Motherfucking Statham National Broadcasting Company”. Even the Onion News Network changed to “Statham Statham Statham!”

The former country of the United States of America wondered how its airwaves became a haven for Statham porn programming so quickly. Once-professional networks such as CSPAN and MTV4 were reduced to clearinghouses for Statham’s “Fucking from the Fuck Palace” recordings. His bedroom trysts with models and supermodels were top stories on televised news; his bonings of super-duper models were prime-time shows on NBC’s “Must Fuck TV” lineup.

Statham’s book-publishing companies — Statham Books, Lil’ Statham Kids’ Books and Statham’s Adult-Time Monographs — celebrated Statham’s sexual exploits in printed form, with his biography, 20,000 Fucks: Tales from the Set of Crank 2, winning the Mark Twain Award. Statham’s reach extended itself to the internet, with academic and carnal material re-purposed for shrines in his honor.

His reach over all communication channels went unmet for 12 years. Meanwhile, a small group of counterculture radicals, calling themselves “Alarmists to Subvert Statham,” plotted to overthrow their ruler. And the time for revolution was nigh.

Someone’s Daddy is Horrible!

If Swagbucks.com’s web search is to be believed, there are a lot of BAD daddies out there:

I’m not sure if these results are girls seeking advice for incest or perverts looking for porn stories, but EWW. They ALL need help.

(Also, those who searched for “my dad was my first” and “my dad hot” should be questioned by the police.)

The Laptop Bag of Douchebags

Do you fancy Jersey Shore as a lifestyle to aspire to? Need to show off your douchebaggery that accessorizes with your shirt, water, car seat or wine?  Are you an ass-tastic dickface with a computer that fears being called a nerd or intelligent? Well, Christian Audigier’s Ed Hardy line of lifestyle products has the product for YOU!

Presenting:

When people see you with your Ed Hardy laptop bag, they know you mean business. The gaudy tiger on the front praying for sweet death shows that you are more likely using your computer for surfing porn and AdultFriendFinder.com than something geeky like negotiating international business deals or homework. Your coked-up, sociopathic friends won’t tease you about being a brain or call you a fag if your laptop is enclosed in the tasteless glitz of the Ed Hardy laptop bag. The only way your laptop would be more stylin’ would be if it had spiked hair, washboard abs and numerous viruses.

The Ed Hardy laptop bag: for the closeted, worthless asshole with work to do!

EXPOSE: The REAL* Reason Black Men Are Hard to Find

A little over a year ago, Barack Obama became the first African-American President of the United States. A week later, comedian Steve Harvey’s self-help book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, hit store and internet shelves. The good is always outweighed by the bad.

In the last 16 months, Harvey has become the go-to voice for relationship advice in the Black community — like reverends Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson being consulted on why Black people smoke menthol cigarettes or hate the word “lynch.” While most cultures don’t have the painful self-analysis, self-loathing and tarnished history that African-Americans have in the United States, they also don’t have all types of media poking and prodding about every facet of their lives like a dissected frog in biology class.

For someone who cut their teeth on the comedy circuit and wore a hideous toupee until recently, it is interesting that someone like Harvey, with no discernible  qualifications in sociology, psychology or picking quality projects, is now the leading expert on why Black women ain’t findin’ no good Black men. It would be like rapper Jay-Z being a consultant on why African-Americans love them some alcohol. Like Harvey, Mr. Z wouldn’t seem like the most knowledgeable person on the subject aside from being an occasional partaker of and profiting on the product of conversation, and yet white people would be enthralled by his lone words that would therefore encompass every thought of every African-American, so say we all. But I digress.

For a comedian that prides himself on being old-school (in other words, a fuddy-duddy), Harvey’s views are taken as gospel without considering many modern ideas and facts. In particular, television network ABC aired a wrist-slitting examination in December on the “problem” of single Black women being unable to trap them a man. And in modern culture, there are some startling changes afoot: Did you know that Black men dress (sports jerseys, jewelry, baggy clothes) that are turnoffs to women, degrade Black women in songs and are more likely not to take care of their kids? This may or may not be true because Harvey said so.

The media is quick to throw out hypotheses in the form of shockingly ignorant questions wondered aloud like they woke up in the middle of class. And true to form, I will now do the same.

Basically, what Harvey is getting at is that the real men Black men are hard to find because the average African-American man is a frighteningly-closeted gay — or, in FOX News speak, “ARE BLACK MEN BONKERS FOR BONERS?”

Let that sink in for a few seconds.

Have you been revived? Good. Let’s take a mind journey with our brain tissues.

1. Black men dress for other men

Jerseys, jewelry, bandannas, expensive shoes, grillz and gangsta muumuus: Based on the media depictions and popularized images of African-American gangsta culture, Black men are one-step away from standing on the sewer grate like Marilyn Monroe.

Harvey mentioned in a panel on Black relationships panel about men dressing to impress other men. Unlike the idea of women dressing their best because of peer pressure from other women, a Black man wearing clothes that appeal to and curry them in favor of their fellow men clearly means that they are hot for cock. Men picking wardrobe items that are tasteful, restrained and mature are all about the ladies, AMIRITE?

2. Black men love drama

The quintessential stereotype that women and gay men love to discuss and observe (and even participate in) dramatic situations is true — because stereotypes ARE true, right, golfer/racist Fuzzy Zoeller? And this is the most present in the rap world with feuds between artists. Who doesn’t remember the verbal sparring between Jay-Z and Nas? Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur? 50 Cent and The Game? Those are a small sample of the beefs that have plagued hip-hop culture since a young Kool Moe Dee dissed the Beastie Boys.

AND THEY LOVE IT.

While Biggie and 2Pac died for their cat-fights, most rappers are energized creatively when they can take their bickering to the stage and mic, spitting verses about their arguments like a shoe sale (or whatever stereotypical woman thing that women stereotypically fight over). Some hug it out (Jay-Z, Nas) and some sulk like the loser girl at prom (50 Cent, The Game), but they all get off on it like a pornstar. (Rufus Wainwright’s gaydar, currently aimed at 50 Cent, is especially interesting.) Hell, even the word “beef” can be misconstrued for penis, and boy do those rappers love them some beef.

3. Black men love forbidden fruit

I recently satirically chided Essence magazine and Jill Scott’s editorial on Black men dating outside of their race. The increasing trend of African-American men dating women of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds may look like a result of crumbling social and societal barriers of progressive outlooks on race relations in the U.S., but really it’s a big-ass metaphor for having a tang for wang.

Think about it. It is human nature for people to want what they can’t have. And in the more traditional African-American community, being gay is up there with country music and mayonnaise as something no one wants to be associated with. So the next best thing is to do something a little less taboo — courting a women of a different race. While those men are hopping on white women like a soccer mom at a Bed Bath and Beyond blowout sale (there’s the stereotype!), they are really wishing their partner could “wangle a new dangle.”

This also explains the hatred and degradation of black women in popular rap and hip-hop songs. Why talk lovingly about someone you’re not attracted to when you just want some man-meat? Darn those Black women and trying to steal Black men from other men. HOW DARE THEY.

"You've gotta dangle, have a new angle, wangle a new dangle on life"

Now, I know that my viewpoints may be considered crazy, wacky or dangerous, and for that I am thankful because that means you read the whole thing. But let this be a wake-up call to the African-American community: Until Black men individually speak for themselves, so-called experts like Harvey will speak for them, and we armchair therapists can boast about their secret, unspoken desire of slobberin’ for knobberin’. Until then, you can pick up my new self-help book, Think Like a Dingo, Act Like a Cougar: How to Troll for Old White Women, and fund my efforts to live forever. Thank you.

*The preceding blog may or may not be real.

What’s In Your TV? (April 2010)

A few years ago, satirical newspaper/website The Onion had a feature of made-up television shows on established TV networks, with titles that could easily pass for respective television shows on said network.

In an ongoing effort to test the limits to what I can do on this blog,  I’ll occasionally make one of my own: 

(Larger version can be found HERE.)

"Don't take things on here so personally dude."

The internet is a fantasy-land for some. I’m not talking about making money online — see the “dot-com bubble” for what happens when too many cooks are in the virtual sector kitchen — but users on the information superhighway.

There are websites and communities that attract certain segments of the population that love to fuck shit up: hacking sites for fun, using personal information for personal gain, making libelous statements or revel in depravity like a pig in muck. Anyone hear of 4chan.org? Lemonparty.org? There is some messed-up shit out there. And that leaves the rest of the internet. Like encountering people in public, you are bound to run into assholes. And the anonymity of the internet allows people to embrace their inner asshole (try picturing that image!) and respond to other people, well, like an asshole.

You on my internets, making me mad!!!

"You on my internets, making me mad!!!"

It’s funny how many people see internet communication as this digital playground, a place where there are no consequences for behavior that would normally be frowned upon in social settings. And for the most part, the Wild West-like nature of the online world encourages that; you wouldn’t look at porn in your company office or on the bus unless you have an addiction, mentally unstable or… an asshole.

In the same way, you wouldn’t cuss at, hurl racial slurs at or mock strangers unless you were mentally unstable, a coward or — all together now — an ASSHOLE. Changing subjects, ignoring emails, fabricating topics and stories are only some of the ways that people behave online when accountability when they log on, letting social mores disappear. More often than not, if you’re a messageboard user, you will encounter people that won’t give two shits about taking you to task when presented the opportunity.

For example, on a messageboard devoted to cars, I recently made a comment about a car that I was interested in seeing released in the U.S. Said messageboard has a majority of people who claim that they would buy a certain vehicle, only to see that same car or truck suffer from low sales because of its niche status. Apparently, my comment about hedging my bets about the car being released domestically called out the douchebag police, with two longtime users taking me to task for being among the sheep that talked trash without backing it up. I responded in a carefully-worded statement that, among the fact that they didn’t know me or my buying preferences, that I was a car fan and that they should consider the weight of their words. One of those guys fired back with the question of whether I would buy the car and for me to not “take things on here so personally dude.”

I poisoned your dog, but I was just teasing!

I poisoned your dog, but I was just teasing!

Really? “Don’t take things on here so personally dude.” That was what was said. That is the type of reaction that a coward makes when backed against the wall for fear of not getting their ass beat. Example: “Yeah, I called you a n***** f*****, but I was just playin’! Don’t take things on here so personally dude.” Here’s another one: “Hey, I know you saw me having sex with your girlfriend, but we were messin’ with ya! Don’t take things so personally dude.”

Seriously, would you let someone call you a liar in real life or online and not call them on it? Would you let some asshole insult you and not say something back? And yet, there is a lack of accountability for one’s actions. Try to wade through a site without wondering how people can string together thoughts, let alone the ill-informed opinions and crap spewing from someone’s keyboard that you can’t see.

And there is the rub. Anonymity is a bitch. In the wrong hands, it can be used to generate negative behavior because of the comfort of not being found out. The Klu Klux Klan didn’t like to show their faces for a reason! And there are apparently li’l Klan members in the making; try playing a popular Xbox Live game with a user that has a microphone and you will hear words that would make a Grand Wizard blush.

Some 13-year-olds, about to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

Some 13-year-olds, about to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

The best — and saddest part — is turning a troll’s behavior on them. You see a person’s true personality when they are backed against the wall; for the online user, this is when someone is cornered because of their words. At this point, the options are to be truthful, disappear, lie or deflect. “Don’t take things on here so personally dude” is what I would consider to be the “deflect,” taking attention away from their actions and placing focus on the person posing the question. It’s amusing but also annoying, as you can see that those last three options (disappear, lie and deflect) are actions that, when done outside of the internet, create consequences that have to be dealt with. They fail to take accountability for what they did.

And yet if they were on the other end of something they found offensive, they would most likely have a few words to say. What does that say, knowing that buttons can be pushed? Maybe one would be able to let it roll off their back, but how long would that last? If you were out in the street, how long would you let someone needle you before you pushed back? That anonymity of those online series of tubes paints an invisible escape door to crawl through.

And while anonymity is all fun and games, people forget that one’s avatar and those comments made — be it on Facebook or CNN.com — can be traced back to them. While face-to-face interactions can be forgotten and forgiven, thanks to the archiving nature of the internet, those words will live on for search engines to retrieve.

Until we can treat the internet like most socially-aware people treat daily interactions with others, there will be many instances of someone defending their offensive actions with “don’t take things on here so personally dude.”

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