Sarah Palin: The GILF of Terror

(WARNING: May contain graphic language and imagery.)

The 2008 elections have come and gone, and yet there is one thing lingering from the battle… like a fart trapped in a car, looking to escape. No, it is not Barack Obama, who is now President: it is Sarah Palin.

Palin, who is on the verge of getting a book deal about her life and time on the campaign trail, is, two months after the election, still somehow getting press coverage.

While selling a book will net her a good amount of camera time for a short time, she is getting even more, longer-lasting attention from the internets, horndogs who think it is awesome to refer to her as a MILF or — BLEEGGHHH — a GILF.

“We’re going to Taco Bell, down at the border!”

Let’s think about this for a second: the woman who claims to be able to see Alaska from her house is an object of lust, quoted as the subject of creepy male fantasies often as Britney Spears was back in 1999. These guys boast about wanting to stick their “wango-tango” in the “mosh tequila” of a dark, black void of utter stupidity.

Furthermore, I am failing to see the attraction to Palin. On a superficial level, she is an average-looking woman, but on a personality level, she is as appealing as Mickey Rourke’s liver. To think about even wanting to spend more than five minutes in her presence is akin to wanting aspirin for a painkiller after open heart surgery.

And to drive the point home, the five kids that emerged from that womb of witlessness have not yet proven whether they will follow in their mother’s footsteps of foolishness. That might be something for those dudes to think about if the condom breaks during their horizontal bop-she-bop: that accidental pregnancy might grow up into an equivalent dim bulb, unable to admit to not being able to read magazines — let alone sentences.

She thought this was a giant soap bubble. The results saddened her.

So think about this, REALLY think about this before spouting off such statements of idiocy. While it may have been funny within that inner circle of friends that uses 2001 slang, it fails to be funny when you have to question whether that union would produce something even more dumb than the two people in question.


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