Hey trendsetters! Tired of drinking that expensive bottled water that only everyone on the planet buys from the supermarket? Want to pump your palette with the designer prestige and tackiness of the fashionable elite and assholes? Then sit your dumb asses down, because you will faint from the garishness and overinflated ego condensed into this easy-to-consume product:
Yes, the Ed Hardy brand now comes in water form! It’s the perfect compliment to your Ed Hardy t-shirts, pants, duvets and coffee table coasters!
For the man who wants to display his sheep mentality and acute colorblindness, you can now chug the clear, crisp taste of douchebaggery! Make everyone in the club jealous of your high-priced extensions of a false lifestyle by slamming a bottle of Ed Hardy down your throat! And nothing says classy to the ladies like spraying Ed Hardy Water all over their white t-shirts like it’s Spring Break ’06 all over again!
Ed Hardy Water: It’s got that upstate prison flavor that will keep you ugly all night long! Gazizza, my dillsnoofus!