Being a “White” Black Man

(Taken from a previous blog, More Thoughts on Race and Online Dating.)

It is amazing to me that people can claim that racism no longer exists in America. I know that some narrow-minded individuals believe that they did their duty to eliminate that dark elephant in America’s room by electing Barack Obama, but they merely draped a giant cloth over it.

If you want to see just how racist Americans can still be, look no further than the African-American community. We are gruesomely racist against each other to the point of holding each other back. And nothing is more ignorant and hateful than to call a black person white. Bouji, Oreo, Uncle Tom: those are some of the harsh nicknames we have for our own brothers and sisters that don’t comply with society’s view of what a black person should be. That self-hatred is damaging.

The image many people have of African-Americans.

I’ve dealt with ignorant people that had ill-conceived ideas of black people my whole life. From kids wondering why I didn’t listen to rap music, to being mistaken for British because I pronounce my words, I’ve had my own uphill battle with those that grouped black people by media-forced images. Some of my friends have joked with me about this. I’ve had black peers in junior high and high school pretend to be my friends while hurting me emotionally and physically, making me the butt of their jokes. Even my ex-girlfriend (a Hungarian woman) made an unfortunate “joke” about me acting white despite me being black. Her comment hurt more than nearly any other, as I gave her my love and trust, and got an ignorant comment in return.

Some would say "Oreo." I say "jackass."

And then there are those that have called me that delightful n-word simply based on the color of my skin. Those were the worst experiences of all.

I wish that I was making this up.

No matter where someone lives, how they act or what they like, they will always be an African-American. Those roots can never be escaped. Black people that “act white” is an unfortunate viewpoint of a person so shallow, ignorant and with little insight, it magnifies the problems that we ALL face as a culture — not just the black community, which has a deep-seated problem with putting down people of their own heritage due to low self-esteem brought on by self-hatred from themselves, their families, friends, the black community and negative stereotypes. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.


6 thoughts on “Being a “White” Black Man

  1. Trevor – I have had similar experiences to your own. I am just very sorry that people of any kind are subjected to harassment at the hands of their own cultural or ethnic community. Women do something the same thing to each other.

    African-Americans often forget that they have a rich cultural background that is more than just pain and enslavement. Instead of living up to the highest points in that background (resourcefulness, ingenuity, endurance, humility) we tend to dig ourselves deeper into the trenches of self-hate and absurdity.

    Being articulate, erudite or urbane are not characteristic of any one cultural background, so I’ve never understood it when people maliciously hurled “White” as an insult to Black people who have cultivated those qualities. They are nothing to be ashamed of and having read your blog for a while, I feel you personify them.

    Take heart and remember what Basil King said, “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.”.


  2. “Man with all his noble qualities, with sympathy which feels for the most debased, with benevolence which extends not only to other men but to the humblest living creature, with his god-like intellect which has penetrated into the movements and constitution of the solar system- with all these exalted powers- Man still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.” – Darwin

    Here’s for hoping we overcome our lowly ignorance of ourselves, no?


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