50 Cent Tweets!

I’m not a fan of rapper 50 Cent. I find his music to be demeaning to people of all shapes, genders and races. (And don’t get me started on intelligence levels.) He’s a misogynistic diva who hides his insecurities behind his muscles and love of guns — the argument about the blaxploitation character Shaft‘s sexual identity and beard being his gun may apply here as well, not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Anywho, did you know that Fiddy uses Twitter? Yep. You can find out what lurks underneath the extroverted machismo, tattoos, bullet scars and boasts. In fact, for those of you that don’t like to read (and who does in America, anymore?), I put some of 50’s tweets to familiar comic images.

Por ejemplo, did you know that Fiddy can handle more than one task at the same time? He felt the need to let his haters know:

You read that right: 50 is one “cold nigga.” How cold? Cold enough to have mad stamina in the bedroom:

Talk about spending 10 minutes in Heaven! Ladies…?

If 50’s sexual prowess wasn’t enough to lure you in, he is also knowledgeable about politics!

I believe Obama’s first draft included the “Pimps Up, Hoes Down” provision, but it didn’t pass due to, in 50’s words co-opted by the President, Republicans that “suck deep.” 50 is a renaissance man with the words and economy.

Alas, ladies, 50’s stable of bitches runs deep. However, there may be room for you yet:

Not content with being his go-to girl for being his  “kinda hoe man”? Maybe you can separate yourself from the pack with an oral penis talent or something less phallic. For example:

The balls of this young man! Calling out the First Lady to be one of his side bitches! 50 is not stingy when it comes to growing his stable of bitches, though:

Someone TEACHING Fiddy something? Can that happen?

I wonder about that. After all, his tweets are like a satire of a rapper gone insane. But don’t tell 50 that:

And that’s where we get to the crux of the argument. We should put up with 50’s need for attention, but don’t call him on it! That sounds like someone familiar…

Oh god. 50 is… IS…


But that would require a huge leap of faith, ignoring the difference in skin color and muscles. However, their disregard for the English language and people in general is the same.

Kinda makes you think, though, doesn’t it? Well, more than 50 Cent or Sarah Palin do.


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