Imagine getting little-to-no sleep for about a week. Then imagine that you are waiting for your delayed flight at the airport. Such was the situation I faced August 31, heading back to Phoenix after a sublime — though nearly sleepless — week in Chicago.
Slouched in my seat at Midway Airport at the terminal gate, my ears were stung by the blue-eyed soul singing about 30 feet away. I turned around and saw several clean-cut young men in black t-shirts, belting out a familiar song. Thus began several hours of documenting the experience on Twitter and consequential mental breakdown:
The song ended, and after the applause died down, the singers revealed their true intentions: they were the music group Cat’s Pajamas, shilling for Branson, Missouri’s tourism business. The preppy lads brandished fliers and walked around to everyone in the vicinity. I was too tired and too moody for that shit:
Strangely, this tweet was retweeted by two pro-Branson Twitter accounts:
I wonder if they read the whole thing.
The Cat’s Pajamas were persistent, and they worked hard to get on my nerves. I relented and took some of their wares:
But I made sure to memorize their features in case I needed to pick them out of a lineup:
At this point — like the majority of the time — I tweeted to amuse myself. And entertaining myself often involves going to dark places:
After a few seconds, I realized that this could be seen as a legitimate threat against comedian Whitney Cummings and the cast and crew of her soon-to-be-canceled TV show. So I decided to right my wrong:
Real talk and all that:
So that was the adventure, dragged out to its natural conclusion: navel-gazing about it online. I don’t have any animosity towards anyone in or from Branson, but I’m not a fan of ready-for-YouTube performance stunts (some still call these flash mobs) or sales pitches done in song (let that be a lesson in ethnic marketing, McDonalds!).
But airports are good for one thing and one thing only: being the hub to get you to and from your destination in an efficient manner. And whether you medicate yourself for the trip with alcohol or quiet, that pre-flight routine shouldn’t include being harassed by a marketing gimmick.