A Holiday Cornucopia of Douchebaggery

Oh God, Ed Hardy merchandise has reached full-tilt market absorption. Pair these images with the food and alcohol you’ll eat for Thanksgiving in a societal shame spiral:

The messenger bag of douchebags, in case you are secretly lugging “picking up ladies” books (Books? Those are for nerds and “the gays”!) in Vietnam jungles, hiding with your camouflaged cunning and garish tiger affection.

The deodorant of douchebags, for when AXE body sprays and roll-ons don’t effectively capture the smell of aggression and date rape that you want to portray.

The hair and body wash of douchebags, for when you want your head to your toes to smell like you’ve got warrants in Cancun.

The eau de toilette of douchebags, for when you want your body to smell like a roid-abuser’s bathroom.

The polo shirt of douchebags, for when you want your office wear to scream “Do NOT drug test me, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.”

***

Try to have a good Thanksgiving. Just try.

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6 thoughts on “A Holiday Cornucopia of Douchebaggery

  1. some other blog title made me wish it said “douchebag” like i initially thought it did…then i rolled on down to yours. thank you, i was really craving a nicely detailed portrait of ed hardy douchebaggery. i didn’t even know i needed it.

    Like

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