K-Mart Finds!

K-Mart occupies a strange place in the retail industry. It’s not mentioned in the same breath as Wal-Mart and Target, and it attracts a clientele that would make Wal-Mart shoppers turn up their noses. It’s that sense of oddness that makes browsing the aisles a unique experience–unique and DELIGHTFUL.

Here’s some crazy crap:

A lot of bad decisions went into the making and marketing of this game:

  • Who still cares about Heathcliff?
  • Who thought a take-off of Fast and the Furious starring Heathcliff and his gang would be a good idea?
  • Just a guess, but I bet it’s not a “great” game
  • $19.99 IS NOT a “great” price for that game
  • Who still cares about Heathcliff?

$12.99 doesn’t go far enough to replicate the feeling of cheesy music, sad sexual degradation and clogged arteries.

Seems like overly complicated ways to cram your craw with M&Ms.

Be the “king of beers” as you coat your barbecue in the bland sauce of bland beers.

I doubt stylists on the set of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn used this “limited edition” hair straightener on set–at least before the 6 millionth one was hot off the assembly line.

Also, LOLZ

No, give ME glitter! GIVE ME GLITTER!!!!!!

AAAAAGH! GLITTER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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6 thoughts on “K-Mart Finds!

  1. I always see kmart commercials, but they don’t have one in my area. (so why run the damn commercials…)

    ….
    however
    this. this takes the cake. perhaps its best that i never get to visit kmart.

    who’s heathcliff?!

    Like

    1. Heathcliff is a cartoon (and comic strip?) character from the ’80s, centering on an orange cat named Heathcliff that caused trouble for his owners. For some reason, video game publishers think that people want games about forgotten licenses (like Woody Woodpecker).

      Like

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