“We just don’t have the money right now,” America tells Public Radio

Courtesy of Poorrichardnews.com

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (AP) – National Public Radio stations across America launched pledge drives this week in an effort to raise funds to continue broadcasting. Listeners sighed in frustration as the mild-mannered hosts solicited monthly and one-time donations

“It’s just not a good time,” mused America as Morning Edition host Steve Inskeep rattled off statistical facts the percentage of listeners that support local NPR affiliates. “Christmas was really expensive.”

Despite the contest giveaways local NPR affiliates offered its audience (like tote bags, Apple iPad minis and trips to foreign countries), America just could not swing a monetary offering.

“We just don’t have the money right now,” America lamented, looking through its credit card bills in frustration. “If someone [points at husband on the couch] would get off their ass and get a job, we could swing it.”

NPR station programmers are sympathetic to their listeners’ troubles, and they include incentives for donation–such as lifetime contest entry and pledge matching from underwriting companies and employers.

“America has been a good supporter of our numerous, diverse programs throughout the years,” said KJZZ newscaster Steve Goldstein, based in Phoenix. “They even tolerate Whad’ya Know with Michael Feldman, and that is painful to listen to.”

With the economy on the upswing, NPR and America are confident they will be able to afford to help sustain public broadcasting for years to come.

“They’ll be back as soon as they get on their feet,” Goldstein noted.

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