Justin Bieber Might Be Seeking Attention

This is Justin Bieber’s Audi R8. Courtesy of Uproxx.com

There’s no such thing as bad publicity, as the P.T. Barnum saying has been paraphrased and bastardized by yours truly. But what if everything you do lately seems to suggest that you’re the worst?

Yes, that picture is of a leopard-printed skin for an Audi R8 sportscar, driven by one Justin Bieber. Simple dickbaggery, right? Bieber is notorious for his idiotic cries for attention, including his fair-weather Miami Heat fan ensemble of air-balloon hat, leather smock and Mr. T-sourced gold chains. But the thing that bugged me was his attempt to shield his appearance from paparazzo with his hand. WHILE DRIVING A LEOPARD PRINT AUDI.

Look, I get that famous people want privacy. Having to endure the barrage of cameras, microphones and hounding sleazebags is a 24/7 nightmare that I don’t envy. But when you essentially shout “LOOK AT ME!” and then cry “STOP STARING AT ME!!!” in the same gesture, it’s hard to root for you, Biebs. Seriously. And this is well after his illegal chrome Fisker Karma electric car was cited for general tackiness. I know you can do what you want with your property (within legal boundaries), but you need a “no” man or woman to run shit by.

Justin (may I call you Justin?), calm down. You’re setting teen celebrities back 20 years with your immaturity. And ruining great cars is not the way to put you in the public’s good graces. But the worst is that you are sending conflicting messages about seeking fame. We’re already inundated by dumb TV shows (Extra, TMZ), websites (TMZ), and people (Wendy Williams, everyone at TMZ) that shove celebrity culture in our faces every damn day. Why contribute to that? And why be a cliche of the worst of pop star narcissism to boot?

If you don’t want to be recognized, knock the shit off. Then you won’t have to half-heartedly put your hand in front of your face when tooling around (literally). No one would recognize you in a Toyota Camry hybrid unless you want them to.

Just tone it down. And leave the ruined cars out of it.

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