BREAKING: Millions Make Mundane Ben Affleck Jokes

THE INTERNET–Millions of uninspired internet users took to social media Thursday to comment on the news that actor/director Ben Affleck was cast as Batman  in the sequel to the superhero movie Man of Steel. The tiresome troglodytes hammered out repetitious attempts at humor–most likely with their knuckles–in an effort to prove once more that idiots are often the most vocal of people.

The dullards with an internet connection and an uninformed opinion lit up webpages with tedious jabs at Affleck’s movie choices from a decade ago–referencing threadbare punching bags like Gigli and Daredevil–as reasons to draw their collective ire.

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Others decided to dredge up Affleck’s 1997 supporting role in Good Will Hunting for their stale yarns, painting their comments in exaggerated Boston accents and references to his turn as townie Chuckie Sullivan. Many paired the prosaic puns with calls for Affleck’s good friend, actor/writer Matt Damon, a co-writer and co-star in Hunting, to play Robin.

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Plenty of others took their misplaced anger to Photoshop and other image-manipulation programs, matching established Batman actors, fictional characters cosplaying the Caped Crusader, and costumes with stupid vagaries to quote-unquote slam Affleck. Everyone from former cowl-wearers Christian Bale and George Clooney to Community‘s Danny Pudi and Parks and Recreation‘s Adam Scott were not spared by the tedious tropes.

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Thousands took their unwisely placed entitlement to online petition sites like Change.org to pressure Warner Bros. to remove Affleck from the role, and more than 30 such documents for the actor’s ouster were filed within hours.

The most humorless of the complainers were the scads of people that vented their opinions in nonsensical rage.

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Warner Bros. representatives could not be reached for comment.

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