With Thanksgiving around the corner, tensions are high — and NOT because of preparing food. Family dinner is often a pressure cooker of differing political and religious beliefs, and conversation is stifled to the point of blowing the cooker lid. And when it does, UH OH!
Not sure what to expect when attending your (or your partner’s) family dinner? Take this quiz and find out!
- That Paris bombing was tragic.
A. It definitely was. I changed my Facebook profile picture ALMOST immediately.
B. ISIS are taking over the country! Where’s my gun?!?
C. Honey, where’s the remote? The game’s on!
2. This summer was hot, wasn’t it?
A. Sure was. Climate change is doing a number on the world.
B. It’s ALWAYS hot during the summer, and it’s cold now! Shut up!
C. No, the TV remote! That’s the cable box remote!
3. Those black churches being burned all over the U.S. is such a shame.
A. Yeah, people of all faiths are suffering. All faiths matter.
B. They probably had it comin’! Now WHERE’S MY GUN?!?
C. NO, that’s the DVD remote! Where’s the TV remote?!?
4. Donald Trump is still in the GOP presidential nominee race.
A. He is such a racist. What a joke.
B. He’s got some good ideas. Let’s go to his speech tomorrow; I’ll need my gun!
C. FINALLY, the right remote!
5. President Obama said…
A. What a bright, articulate man. So well spoken.
B. You mean Barack Hussein O-BUMMER-care? Not my president. DAMN, I NEED MY GUN.
C. What do you mean your family wants to come over for dinner?!?
If you answered A for the majority of the quiz questions (and there weren’t very many questions), congrats: You’re an Insufferable Liberal! Your moderate and conservative relatives can’t wait for your arugula-eating, transgender-tolerating ass to drive your Prius back to California!
If you answered B for the majority of the quiz questions, congrats: You’re a Dirtbag Conservative! While your gun might not allow you to take your country back, rest assured that the White House will likely be white in 2016. (Sorry, Ben Carson.)
If you answered C for the majority of the quiz questions, congrats: You’re not at a Thanksgiving family dinner! Use this time to be glad that you don’t like your extended family.