Another year is almost dead and buried (like Bill Cosby’s career, AMIRITE?), and with that comes an existential reflection on the past 364 days and the shit that needs to not follow into 2016. Also, with the need for companies and people to feed the always-hungry internet beast with the content it craves for sustenance, I am forever enslaved to nourish my online master.
In THAT somber spirit, here are some things from 2015 that need to be dropped into a shallow grave
Any form of “squad” from Taylor Swift
With Taylor Swift’s co-opting of “squad” from “Black Twitter” (a term I don’t like, as Twitter is not a segregated place), her so-called team of inclusion — including everyone in the United States except Selena Gomez (?) — is really a multimillionaire high school clique, another form of exclusion that wouldn’t be out of place in a 21st century Mean Girls. (Is Lindsay Lohan in the Swift Squad yet?) Oh, and the media and everyone else has latched onto “squad” to describe any group of two or more people, so the term will be on its deathbed when your parents rep your aunt as part of their Facebook squad. Looking forward to this not being bandied about this time next year.
Return Donald Trump to sender
Sure, the extended entrance of Donald Trump into the presidential race provided laughs for some, but the skin cancered sweet potato, long known for racist rhetoric, hit the ground running. Like an “edgy” comedian claiming to be an equal-opportunity offender, Trump found a way to offend nearly every ethnicity (except for the whites!) and form of abled humans to the delight of bigoted jackholes.
I’m not an opponent of free speech, but I AM an opponent of those who use it to harm others without concern. And I hope that others punt Trump back to his gold-encrusted tower to lose more money for his gaudy businesses. Seriously, fuck that upright dick.
Shoo, Bill Cosby and defenders
I idolized Bill Cosby and his self-titled The Cosby Show as a kid. Like many, I bought into the notion of “America’s Dad” being a role model for upstanding people, and the postitive influence he had on spotlighting upwardly mobile black parents and professionals was a wonderful byproduct of a great sitcom.
Too bad he had been fucking up the lives of women for decades via his love of drugging and raping. Too bad that it took comedian Hannibal Burress’s standup comedy for the world to take seriously the allegations of dozens of women over years and years. Too bad that Cosby vowed to sue some of the women for defamation. Too bad that the lives of his accusers are forever changed for the worse because of Dr. William H. Cosby, Jr. — rightfully replacing Dr. Phil as America’s sham doctor/human. FUCK that guy.
Fuck the NFL
Concussions; making music artists pay to play the Super Bowl; operating as a tax-exempt entity; getting money from the National Guard to promote their causes; their back-assward handling of domestic violence: the National Football League manages to thrive despite their continued ineptitude to protect the health and image of their employees and business.
Oh sure, it’s fun to see gladiators scramble their brains and bodies every sabbath during the fall, but the dealer peddling that sweet drug is a shady, bumbling, unaware idiot. But any hope for these (and many more) offenses to fell the 800-pound gorilla of professional sports will be a long, protracted one. People love NFL football, and it’s a giant moneymaker. But Major League Baseball was once America’s pasttime, and no sports league (hey, NASCAR, professional boxing, and SlamBall) is safe. I hope 2015 is the end of giving the NFL the benefit of the doubt.
Shove off, police violence
Enough with unwarrented attacks on innocent black, Latino, and Native American men, women, and children. Enough with the misguided #alllivesmatter hashtag and movement to cover up/ignore/explain away the serious, genocide-like, terrorist-aping behavior of police officers. Enough with news pundits and reporters painting crimeless people as the spawn of Satan. Enough with placating the egos of racists and their misguided notions of people of color. Enough.
I hope 2016 brings new focus on this epidemic. I hope 2016 shines a light on the long-needed reforms to police departments (from new training to removal of military weaponry) to remove the us-against-them tactics and thinking that have killed so many so needlessly. And I hope that 2016 wakes people up to stand against all this.