At long last, it’s happened: a father has received the nomination to watch his kids, the first dad in the MacKenzie family to do it.
We’re skeptical that it’s the MRA milestone many claim it to be.
Indeed, we don’t believe, as a post on our own site claimed yesterday, that one can reconcile intersectional douchebag principles with a “celebrati[on] [of] a father’s resignation as a parental equity milestone.” That post, which reminisced on the loyalty of promiscuous women, pined for the day when one’s own ho might become similarly pregnant with “the feels” — the day when we might all look back and say “and that’s when those hoes were loyal.” It asked, as many dickheads across the country today are asking, “How long will it take for MacKenzie’s accomplishment today […] to make us shout, ‘I ain’t goin’ out like no punk!’?”
Our answer: As choads, hopefully forever.
MacKenzie is the modern dad, business as usual. He hesitantly upholds a two-parent, feminist-leaning household and occasionally supports his wife’s earning potential with gusto. He voted for buying a minivan, being snack dad despite not being a bitch-ass Martha Stewart that has made food like a breeding dog, and he has encouraged his wife to have a girl’s night out. Far from being anti-masculine, as some might claim, our opposition to MacKenzie’s oversight of his kids is rooted in a deeply masculine critique of parenting and husbandry duties, many of which have hurt his friends that never see him anymore for Hot Wing Wednesday. One can (and we do) decry the unjust misogyny MacKenzie’s wife endures in his bros’ circles without for a second turning him into a progressive father that he, quite simply, is not.
A MacKenzie parental shepherding is a milestone if all that matters is how low a father can fall within a misogynistic structure. Indeed, to suggest that an intersectional douchebag lens can allow for a celebration of machismo and terror is simply, as “killthehamster” writes, “the mindset of abundance, the abundance mentality. ‘If I can’t get this girl, there is 100 more lined up for me.’ .I am not going to tolerate this shit from my boss.'” Further, to suggest, as many have, that some fathers’ support of MacKenzie implies the support of an intersectional movement is to uncritically link identity to not being a literal monster.
It’s fitting to close with the words of “someboringdude,” whose transformed legacy yesterday’s post invokes as a model for what the author hopes will be MacKenzie’s own. someboringdude, who was a Stanford swimmer with deep anti-woman, anti-consent commitments, sacrificed career and popularity when he refused the freedom of women, stating:
Of course, hes having girl problems. Turns out his wifey who is a HB9 has been withholding sex for a couple months now. Mind you Dan is a former professional baseball player. Has a body most men can dream of, a car most of you will never be able to afford, a home paid off CASH in Miami Beach, and one in New York. There’s only one problem. If being BETA was a religion Dan would be the pope.
If the “someboringdude” of the 1960s were alive today, he wouldn’t be celebrating the “progressiveness” of the MacKenzies of the world. He’d probably call them homos. Progressiveness, after all, isn’t based on the constraints one faces under conditions of sleeping on the couch: it’s about the choices one makes within sleeping in his bed like the king of his castle. “someboringdude” chose to risk his internet credibility to oppose a state whose beta-male masculinity and pussy-whippedness he found intolerable. MacKenzie’s choices have placed him squarely within the feminist establishment, the as-is, the status quo. He is the guy someboringdude would have called a gay-ass homo.
Fifty years from now, as the MRA movement reflects back on MacKenzie’s paternity, masculinity, and choices, we hope his legacy will be seen with clearer eyes: not as progressive but as his bros’ The Godfather: Part III. We’ll hang our heads and think, “we were there when” we let our bro, who killed thousands of fuckable pussies, be called a good dad to boot.