Shouldn’t Have Been Married (in the style of “Let’s Get Married” by Jagged Edge)

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Image courtesy of Rocketlawyer.com; seriously, this is insane

With all the craziness in the world, I’ve strangely found some much-needed enjoyment in writing parody songs — something that I used to dabble in more frequently. And I was inspired to write this one based on the original material (a man getting married for seemingly terrible reasons) and how that relationship would pan out years later.


Twenty years have gone
I knew us getting married was not for the best
But I’ll be straight and say it was doomed from the start
And divorce papers make our breakup permanent
Didn’t you know we’d be better apart, damn

When we were in it for the long haul heading towards the alter
Pressure from family to jump that broom and all
When we were thinking that we had been together for so long
And I just couldn’t think about starting over

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
We shouldn’t have been married
I didn’t want to get married

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
I shouldn’t have been married
We didn’t need to be married

Sad we had it all
But we were living lives that were disingenuous

Wanted to be with the guys and you with the girls
Sowing wild oats and humpin’ dicks in Key West
We were just too damn young

Did you wonder why it took 10 years for me to pop the ring?
I was hesitant to give up on it all
Did you think about your career and living on your own, girl?
The writing was all up on the wall

I thought that I should just commit
That we were no younger and should get it over with
‘Cause you wanted our lives to be immaculate
And I fucked those strippers and us all

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
We shouldn’t have been married
I didn’t want to get married

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
I shouldn’t have been married
We didn’t need to be married

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
We shouldn’t have been married
I didn’t want to get married

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
I shouldn’t have been married
We didn’t need to be married

Meet me at the courthouse with your attorney present
We ain’t with each other, let’s get this union ended
Been time to move on and live with this regret
We shouldn’t have been married
I didn’t want to get married

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